6 reasons to stop using CI/CD

A trend is happening with Continuous Integration / Continuous Delivery. We have to stop it from reaching mainstream! I present you with 6 reasons to stop this madness!

You deserve respect!

Years of experience in engineering, you are exceptional with production problems; you have arrived; you became release manager and deserve respect! Be wary, stop others if they want CI/CD. When teams go full in, your job will become obsolete. Pay attention! Prevent it from happening! You need that control, power, and respect!

Overtime!

Releasing goes in big batches, production always breaks. Thank god for that! Now you can work overtime and fix production problems. It’s something that was worked on a few weeks back, and you don't know what it is. Better work overtime to fix that issue! Who needs private life anyway? Work hard, not smart!

You're irreplaceable!

Work weekends to do that high-profile production release. It’s great, it gives a sensation of relevance. And it shows management that you’re committed, important, and irreplaceable. It creates the illusion that management can’t do without you. Easy salary negotiations!

Responsibility?!

Fuck no, who wants that?! With CI/CD, work goes to production without interference. If it breaks, people have to fix it themselves. Figure out a way to avoid this! It will reduce your importance, besides who wants to bear responsibility for his work?

Be pointless, stay at it!

Code freezes and merge days are the best, manual operation work is even better! Who wants that to stop? Efficient people, tssss. Leave Efficiency out the door, otherwise, you might be rendered obsolete, that can’t happen.

Hidden in plain sight!

Transparency, efficiency? Who wants that?! Better stay hidden in long-lived feature branches and big releases. It makes life slower and less transparent. It just needs a little overwork to make managers proud, who doesn't want that.

Stop the CI/CD Cult!

This is my call to you. Stop the CI/CD cult from spreading! Stop it all cost!